Welcome back to the series of children developing language. As mentioned in the previous post, my mission for better hearing and speech month is to provide the community with information regarding strategies that can be implemented at home with the population birth-3.
Today’s post will focus on two strategies that many people commonly do without putting much thought into it. I will simply give you tips about ways to use them and perhaps use the strategies more effectively in your routine. The strategies are known as following your child’s lead and commenting and labeling.
In order for children to learn they must be motivated and attentive to the learning experience. If they are not interested, then you will not get much cooperation and “forcing” a child to do something rarely works. Avoid the frustration and hassle by following your child’s lead. A child who is interested in what is being done will attend and will learn more language. Children developing language will absorb more of what is being said and shown if they enjoy the activity.
Of course, we cannot always follow the child’s lead. Only use this technique when appropriate and during suitable times/situations. Children shouldn’t dictate everything, you must stay in control and allow moments of control to your child as you see fit. I will provide examples of situations where you can follow your child’s lead.
One way to follow your child’s lead is by allowing them to make choices. I recommend limiting the number of choices to 2-3 so that your child is not overwhelmed with infinite possibilities. This also allows you to model the language for 2 or 3 items/activities that the child can pick from. Following your child’s lead by letting them pick an activity is appropriate and will ensure their engagement and cooperation.
Have your child pick activities. It’s easier for the child if you have the activities in their sight so that they can choose from an inventory. It is more difficult to think of something to do that is not in front of them. Therefore, have some different games, toys, books or art supplies set up. Then ask your child “What do you want to do?” and point to the pile of things to choose from. Wait for your child to make a choice then model some language. For example, “Great idea! Let’s play with the farm and animals” or “Good choice! Let’s color a picture. What should we draw?“
You can also hold two objects in your hand (e.g. a book and a car) and ask your child what they want to play with. Wait until they request by pointing to the desired object, signing or using their words. Then hand your child the desired object and once again model the appropriate language “I want to play cars” or “I want to read a book.” If your child is speaking and can use his words to request, but is not verbally attempting, then they may need you to “frontload” them with the language. That means you need to give them the words associated with the objects so they can request the item that they want by imitating your words. If after a minute your child says nothing, you can say “book” (lift up and show the book) or “car” (lift up and show the car). Praise any verbal attempt! Then follow their lead and enjoy the activity together.
Remember, you do not need to give your child choices all day long. Choose moments that are appropriate for making choices. For instance, they can choose what snack they want to have given a few choices. However, having your child pick what they want for a complete meal such as lunch or dinner can become overwhelming and frustrating for the both of you. Have your child make simple choices and leave the decision making for the more important moments of the day up to you.
Here are a few examples of choices that you can give your child in your daily routine:
Lastly, make sure you are fine with the choices your child makes. If you offer them to choose between a fruit or cookies for snack, then they may not always make the choice you’d want them to. You can follow the child’s lead but still have control over their options. Set up the environment in a way that allows them to choose from things that you want them to do.
For instance, if they never want to play with the farm set. Don’t pair it up with a very motivating toy that they always choose. Pair it up with something that may be even less motivating to your child. You can manipulate choices and the environment so as to have your child try new things to ensure it’s motivating for them.
Children developing language need practice to use their language skills. Usually they follow our lead and model. Have them take charge in an area they can master such as play. Give them the opportunity to set up play schemes and be imaginative in the ways they play with their toys. If they are still learning to communicate verbally or have some difficulty being creative in play, then you can help set up some types of play but have them lead it. They can communicate in play with whatever skills they have and practice those that are emerging whether its gestures, signs, words or sentences. You can help them out.
You can set up a play scheme for a picnic with your child. Tell your child today you are having a picnic at home with all of his/her toys. Have them pick who they want to invite to the picnic party. Follow their lead getting all the invitees. If they are speaking in sentences you can have them practice asking their toys “Do you want to eat/play/have a picnic?” and you can respond as the animal. You can also shorten this for younger kiddos and have them ask “Want to eat/play?” or simply say “come eat/play.” Then ask your child where you should set up the picnic (bedroom, kitchen, living room, backyard). Tell your child we will need food (I recommend using play food and maybe a little bit of real food for the humans) then grab a basket and go search for food and drink items. Help your child set everything up and model appropriate language. For example “Put the blanket down, everyone sit, time to eat, who wants an apple?” Let your child play as they wish and follow what they do and talk about what they are doing. You can also pretend to be the animals/toys at the picnic and create different voices and dialogue.
Maybe someone spilled all of the juice! Oh no! What a mess! Now everyone has to help clean it up. Maybe the ants crawled all over the cake! Ew! What should we do now? If your child needs help, there are hundreds of scenarios you can start and then follow their lead. This will increase their pretend play, motor, reasoning/problem solving, social language, language and speech skills.
In the early years, children are in the process of learning new things and how to do things (eat, walk, talk and play). They may not always play with toys or use objects for their intended purpose. That is fine! Enjoy it, imitate what they do. They will find it hilarious. Then you can also show them how to use the object. We get so much more language out of using objects in new creative ways.
Imitating your child shows them that you are attending to what they are doing and following their lead. This will make them very engaged in the routine or activity. It is also helpful for the child who does not yet imitate. If they see you imitate them, then they may also start to attempt imitating you with time and repetition.
Hand your child something that they haven’t seen or played with before. Watch what they do and say. Imitate their movements and sounds/words. Then you can add language as you imitate them. For example, “What is this? I’ll shake it. Makes noise. Pretty colors. Let me bang it. Too loud! Can I eat it? Nope, yuck!”
One of my favorite toys to use in play with toddlers is Mr. Potato Head. Usually, if they are newly exposed to it, they will not know where the pieces go and Mr. Potato turns into Mr. Picasso. It’s hilarious!
Imitate your child or follow their lead and put the body parts/clothes as they indicate. Then talk about why it looks so silly. Take a mirror and look at your faces together. Talk about where everything is (eyes above nose, mouth under nose, ears on the side, hair on top). This is a great activity to expose children to location words and body parts. You can also imitate Mr. Potato’s face and stance. Ask your child “Is this what I look like? Arms on top of my head?” Then you can ask “Show me your nose, eyes, arms” and “Where is Mr. Potato’s nose, mouth, ears?” You can also get dressed upside down/backwards – try putting your pants through your arms, socks on your ears, etc.
Children developing language acquire their skills from the environment they are exposed to. The more you speak about their environment and what is happening in their surroundings, the more language they will obtain. The saying is true, children are like sponges they soak up everything. Remember, you are the child’s primary connection to the world, without your words, they do not know what to name or identify things that they see, do, and feel everyday.
Think of yourself as a search engine with infinite knowledge about the world around your child (especially for the first years). Your child cannot google all the answers and learn independently. You must provide the answers to all of their inner questions by anticipating their thoughts and being attentive to what they are seeing.
I know that all parents are already pointing and labeling things and talking to their child daily. I will provide you with examples and ideas to use this strategy (which you already use) more effectively and creatively in your daily routine. There are also some things that you may not have thought were essential to focus on with such young kiddos.
Children developing language gain a vocabulary primarily composed of nouns. Nouns are easier to learn because they have a physical entity associated with the word. Children also acquire verbs in their vocabulary. Usually they acquire “simple” verbs that are associated with common actions that they see or do daily such as eat, drink, sleep, open, close, clean, jump, put, give, push, pull, play, etc.
By labeling nouns and actions and commenting about what is seen/done helps increase your child’s inner vocabulary (receptive/what is understood) and their expressive vocabulary.
Here are some examples of how to use labeling and commenting in your daily routine:
It is also important to describe and use words for texture, temperature, color, size, shape, quantity, taste and smell. These “labels” take some thinking on our part to use in our daily routine because it is not as intuitive as pointing and naming things/actions. You need to think about what to describe to your children and what words/concepts to introduce. You can even pick the concepts that you want to target and focus on one per week. For instance, this week you will teach your child about soft textures and whenever you come into contact with something that is soft you will mention it (E.g. soft things – pillow, blanket, skin, hair, teddy bear, a tissue).
You can easily describe foods when introducing new foods or eating familiar foods. Many kids love to eat ice cream, frozen yogurt or popsicles. This item can be described in several ways. While you are both eating your frozen treat, talk about how it looks, feels, tastes, smells. You could say “This is yummy, it is cold brrrr, is it cold or hot? it’s cold brrr, it’s wet, it’s dripping, quick lick it up fast, it can melt, it’s sweet, it tastes like strawberry, it smells like grape, it is purple, it’s sticky all over my hands and lips, the cone is crunchy, crunch, crunch, the ice cream is soft, the ice cream was hard to scoop up, it’s frozen that’s why it’s cold, it was in the freezer.“
Depending on your child’s age and language skills you can make your labels and comments as simple or complex as you want. The take away is that you want children to learn descriptive terms and concepts associated with describing things such as big, little, huge, tiny, wet, dry, skinny, fat, hot, cold, high, low, clean, dirty, short, long, colors, shapes, etc.
Remember to also talk about feelings in your daily routine. Label how your child is feeling – happy, excited, sad, hurt, surprised, frustrated, upset, angry, scared. Acknowledge how they are reacting in the moment and give them the words associated with their feelings. For example, if your child was shocked by a loud noise and now is crying, you could say “I know you got scared, that was a loud noise, it surprised you, and now you are crying but it’s okay, the noise scared you but it’s gone now.”
Talk about how you (or others) are feeling and what made you (or others) feel that way. For example, when your child hugs you, you could say “I love your hugs, it makes me so happy” or when you are upset, you could say “You hit your brother, that makes me sad and angry, your brother is hurt.”
Children developing language skills also gain knowledge about the world through language. They learn what things are used for (purpose) and where they can be found. It is important for you to not only label the item (e.g. hammer) but talk about what it’s used for (e.g. hitting nails into the wall, building things) and where it can be found (e.g. toolbox, in the garage).
Put a bunch of objects your child or yourself use daily in a box or a bag. Make sure they cannot see what’s inside and have them pull one object out at a time. For example, I would put a toothbrush, a soap bar, a spoon, a cup, a crayon, a granola bar, and a book. Then when they pull an object out I’d ask “What is it?” and wait for a response. I’d praise any verbal attempt and give the correct model “soap, cup” then I’d ask “Where can we find it?“
This activity will be difficult for younger children (1-2 years old) but they will benefit from the language and will enjoy the mystery. You can adapt your language and make it more simple. You will also have to answer your own questions – “Where do we find it? In the kitchen, spoons go in the kitchen.” Then you can also ask “What do you do with it?” and wait for a response. Then help your child by giving the appropriate language – “What do you do with it? You brush your teeth, a toothbrush is for brushing teeth.“
If your child is not yet speaking you can work on their pre-linguistic skills by having them use gestures and respond to questions non-verbally. You could ask “Show me what you do with it” and have your child practice the gesture of washing hands, brushing teeth, drinking, or drawing. You could also ask “Show me where you find it” then follow them to the place (kitchen, bathroom, living room) and have them practice pointing to the location of the object found. You can also have them put back the item where it goes. Tell them “Okay, let’s clean up, let’s put everything back where it goes, show me where the toothbrush goes?“
As always these strategies can be applied in any language. Contact me if you do not speak English and would like specific language examples to model in other languages such as French or Spanish. If you have any questions or further ideas, please feel free to leave a comment below!
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