Children learn through play and by understanding the development of play skills and pre-linguistic skills you can help further facilitate the development of your child’s cognitive and linguistic skills. Pre-linguistic and play skills include making eye-contact, imitating facial expressions, attention, taking turns, engaging in appropriate play, demonstrating cause and effect (e.g. push a button and lights turn on), problem solving skills (e.g. sorting shapes into correct shape hole). Although they are called pre-linguistic these skills develop alongside language and should be thought of as cognitive skills. Here is a summary of pre-linguistic/play milestones up to 36 months (3 years old):
Children go through different stages of play as they develop and knowing these stages can help you sort out which toys may be appropriate and the types of play you should be engaging in.
From birth to 4 months of age, play is primarily parent oriented as infants are still limited in their skills and their favorite thing is direct contact with parents. The type of play at this stage involves a lot of face-to-face time (e.g. vocal play – making fun sounds “ah” “ooo”, silly faces/smiling, tickling).
Between 4 and 8 months, infants start to engage in sensory play – they explore the world around them through their senses and do so primarily with their mouths. They start to manipulate objects with different textures/sounds (e.g. shaking rattles, mouthing everything, feeling soft cloths). A very important skill develops around this time called – joint attention. Joint attention is a crucial skill – children now understand that their parents look at what they are looking at.
Between 9 and 12 months, infants start to explore the world around them as they move – exploratory play (grasping different toys, exploring lights/sounds/textures, looking through books). In their toddler years (1-3 years old), as language develops so does symbolic play –children use an object to represent an unrelated object (e.g. using a banana as a phone, a block as a cup). Children also start to play alongside other children or adults rather than with each other – parallel play.
During the preschool ages (3-5 years old), children start to play with each other – cooperative play. They also start to engage in a lot of pretend play – making up imaginative play schemes (e.g. pretending the floor is made out of lava and needing to escape to the island which is a couch). Children also engage in more turn-taking activities so they can easily play age-appropriate board games.
Similar strategies to facilitate language are used to facilitate the development of children’s cognitive and play skills. Often times, the best method is to follow your child’s lead so that they have a high interest in the activity and you can adapt the strategies to the context. However, when your child is very young and not talking yet there are some ways you can control the environment to help stimulate their development.
You can manipulate the environment to direct your child’s attention to things you want to target. For instance, you might choose the toys or books that your child has access to in the living room. Then you can still follow their lead by letting them choose which book or toy they want out of a pre-selected set. If your child is starting to engage in functional play (e.g. pushing toy cars or trains) then you can set up a small track/tunnel and work on pushing the train in/out of the tunnel or around the track. You can also set up two cars and race the cars to see who pushes their car the furthest.
If your child is starting to play with a ball then you can have a ball in the play room and practice rolling the ball back and forth. You can also add unexpected items. For example, if you are playing with farm animals you can add a train in there and see if your child notices the new/unexpected item. This can give you an opportunity to discuss why a train doesn’t belong with the farm animals or create a new play scheme (e.g. the farm animals are going on a trip by train to the zoo to visit their wild animal friends).
Routine helps children learn through repetition and predictable outcomes. They grow up understanding the routine of breakfast, getting dressed, getting ready for daycare/school, lunch, dinner, bath time, etc. Like their daily routine, children learn from play routines. Children will start to play a certain way and with certain toys and tend to do similar things each time. For instance, they may prefer to play with a red rattle and always shake that rattle using a similar pattern. You can facilitate new play routines by showing your child how to play with different toys and different ways of play.
Children learn though imitation so look out for opportunities to incorporate imitation in your daily routine. Start by imitating your child and make a game out of it. Whatever they do you do or whatever they say you say. For example, if your child grabs the cow and throws it then you do the same and see what your child does next. This is great for turn taking. Then once you’ve copied your child a few times you can try and do something new. For example, grab the cow and make it jump up and down then watch to see if your child imitates you. You can continue to play with the toys however your child wants – copying their style and adding to it by showing them different ways to use their preferred objects.
You can also practice making animal sounds (e.g. moo, quack, meow) and see if your child can imitate the sounds. Even if they can’t it’s important for you to model language in play so that children hear those speech sounds and get that linguistic input. Once children get used to a routine and have had a lot of repetition of the same information then you can play around and do unexpected things. For example, take the cow and say “quack quack” – if your child knows that cows say “moo” then he/she should show some reaction towards this unexpected action. You can then laugh and say “uh-oh” and tell the cow “cow say moooo” then pretend the cow is saying moo and nod your head – “Yes! Cows say moooo”.
Toys: YOU are their favorite thing to play with for the first 3 months. Between 3-6 months you can introduce rattles, soft books, sensory toys (things they can reach for, hold, shake, make noise, suck on), soft plush toys and dolls (with no little pieces that can detach themselves), crib mobiles, teething toys, stationary activity centers, and playmats.
Play Ideas: Spend time with your child face to face playing tickle games and making silly faces/sounds. Take a soft plush toy and rub it against different parts of their body/face so that they get that tactile stimulation and feel the soft texture. You can also take their hand and have them pet the stuffed animal. You can take some rattles and practice shaking them then stop and see if your child reacts when the noise ends and engages you to continue. For example, you can practice having your child make eye contact to request more rattle shaking.
Toys: You can introduce cloth/boardbooks, toys to manipulate (poke, twist, squeeze, shake, drop, open), lightweight ball (for rolling), kitchen items (plastic cups, wooden spoons, spatulas, plastic bowls), toys that make noise when baby does an action (be mindful of loudness levels), toys that can be pushed (animals/cars on big wheels) and large balls.
Play Ideas: Your child will start to imitate gestures at this age so you can play by making simple movements that your child can imitate and imitate their movements as well. You can play with toys and then hide them out of the child’s view to see if they realize the toy is missing. Have the toy disappear and re-appear a few times. You can even just throw or roll an object away and see if your child follows the object with his/her eyes.
Toys: Shape sorters (you can even make your own – just give an empty plastic box and some balls/blocks), balls (i.e. for bouncing) or toys that have balls (e.g. air toys), toy phone (child will try to imitate you and push buttons and babble), books (flaps, pull tabs, textured), blocks (large wooden ones or plastic legos) and sand toys – pail and shovel.
Play Ideas: Place objects (e.g. 3-5 items) around the child and wait for them to grab their preferred object. Engage them to see if they will try to share it with you and if they do then applaud them to encourage that behavior. Talk about the object they are holding and play with it with your child. When taking toy animals/people out of a box – you can practice saying/waving hi to each animal (e.g. “hi cow, hi horse, hi boy”) and you can say/wave bye to each toy when cleaning up. This will help your child practice his new skills – waving hi/bye in a routine with a lot of repetition.
Toys: Sorting and nesting toys (helps develop problem solving), modeling clay, picture books (familiar objects/activities), pop-up toys, simple puzzles, large building blocks, push and pull toys (e.g. wagon/walking stroller), gym – (practice motor skills such as sliding, climbing and jumping.), ball (i.e. kicking, rolling, passing) and crayons/paper.
Play Ideas: Practice turn-taking by playing with a single toy. For example, if playing with a pop-up toy you can take turns with your child pushing buttons and model language such as “my turn/your turn”. Your child will start to hand you toys around this age so you can continue to facilitate these skills by pointing and naming desired objects. For example, point to the cow and say “I want cow. Give me cow” and extend your hand out. This will also help teach your child how to make requests. You can also make your own obstacle course for your toddler to practice their developing gross motor skills by having them crawl through a tunnel, jump in/out of a circle or on a small trampoline and climb up/down the couches.
Toys: Play house (picnic set, shopping cart, kitchen set), babies/dolls, smaller blocks, toy instruments, thick wood puzzles (few pieces, easy to manipulate), train set, ball (i.e. running and kicking) and crayons.
Play Ideas: Integrate daily routine activities into play routines. Practice showing your child how to take care of a baby doll – feeding, changing clothes, bathing, sleeping, and playing. Read picture books with your child and talk about all the different actions/objects then you can draw a picture to help facilitate your child’s understanding of the book. For example, if you read “the little blue truck” then have your child draw a blue truck and some farm animals.
Toys: Basketball, art supplies, dress up clothes/costumes, pretend house play – more realistic (e.g. mini household objects – broom, dishes, tea set), doll houses, construction sets, toys that have keys to open doors (e.g. vet clinic),
Play Ideas: You can help develop your child’s fine motor skills through drawing. You can also use toys that require your child to open doors with a set of keys or to use a pair of tweezers to remove items. You can also make your own sorting games by having your child sort pastas, beans, etc. into different shaped containers.
Toys: Basic jigsaw puzzles with recognizable pattern, early board games or memory games, legos, art supplies (washable/nontoxic), sport equipment (e.g. soccer, plastic balls/bats, basketball, play golf sets), bowling set and books with narrative stories.
Play Ideas: You can continue to help your child develop their coordination and gross motor skills by going to the playground and sliding down the slide, swinging, trying the monkey bars, running, skipping, etc. Help expand their creativity by making simple art crafts out of different materials. Start to play board games to help with turn taking and following simple rules.
Toys: basic board games, dress-up clothes, accessories, and props to assist with pretend play, art supplies (e.g. large crayons, pencils, paints, blunt-edge scissors, glue), outdoor toys, modeling clay, puppets, puzzles, and tricycles/bicycles.
Play Ideas: There are a lot of board games that are great to introduce in a family game night for children as of 3 years old. These board games will further help your child develop their motor skills, social pragmatic skills, language and speech skills. Some examples of great board games for younger children are Cariboo, Pop up Pirate, Diggity Dog, Chutes and Ladders, and Don’t Wake Daddy.
It is important for parents to know how to play with toys and board games because children learn through play. Knowing the development of such prelinguistic and play skills can help guide you in choosing appropriate toys and types of play. You can also learn more by reading my upcoming blog series about different toys/board games and how to incorporate them in play throughout your child’s development.
References:
National Association for the Education of Young Children
Swigert, N. (2004). Activities Book: The Early Intervention Kit (pp. 1- 187). East Moline, IL: LinguiSystems Inc.
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